Friday, 13 March 2009

Its Quits

We've called it quits. It was going to happen sooner or later. Last Wednesday I think it was, M's football team Chelsea, (by this I mean M is a fanatical supporter), played an evening UEFA game against Juventus. M was supposed to get in touch after the match. "It'll be really late", I was told. And so, trustingly I waited up, even though I had an early start the next day. But my wait was in vain. Early in the morning Thursday, my phone wakes me up. It's M apologising for last night, although the excuse proffered was worse than what one would call a cock and bull story. Not being in the mood to revert to the way things were before...I suspect that M is trying to force it down my throat that it had to be that way or nothing...I refuse to budge. I had ended the relationship previously, but M had come pleading. Now its back to where we were before, and I was having none of that. Then M asks me if we are going ahead or not, and I maintain that if the relationship is not making me happy, which it hasn't for a while now, and there appears to be no attempt to repair the damage, indeed things were actually getting worse, then perhaps its better if we stay as just friends. To which M shrugged and said what was offered to me was the best there was on offer, and I replied that maybe the best wasn't good enough. And so it ended in an un-acrimonious way as possible. There is a sense of loss, but not much. I reiterate what I said in my earlier post on this. I quite like the idea that I am free again and can do whatever I want, whenever I want. The most important person in my life for the time being is me, and I am relishing every moment.

5 comments:

CodLiverOil said...

Well, at least you know you tried to be reasonable and it didn't work, so now it's onto the chapter of your life.

As a person I know well said "if you don't respect your happiness, don't expect anyone else to". I think that person used the name of CodLiverOil :-)

Good for you Anengiyefa, step forward confidently and don't look back.

Anengiyefa said...

CodLiverOil, thanks a million. I appreciate the encouragement you give me.

Amooti, Uganda said...

hmmmmmmmmm...I think M is a lil bit offline as far as knowing what makes you feel the way you feel right now. And I should reckon am not making much sense either, but anyhow ...

Free Surf said...

What is it with closet cases and "This is the best I can offer?" It's as though they are doing we are comfortable with our sexuality, a huge favor. I'm earnestly looking forward to dating an out of the closet guy and ending all ties with closet cases. They just make me feel stupid and depressed. And to think some would even go agead as to pressurize you to get a girlfriend so you can deceive yourself and the world. How disgusting!

Free Surf said...

At some point in life it's going to happen. Breaking up ain't easy at all. I remember breaking up with my first boyfriend over Desperate Housewives (I was paying way too much attention to the series than I was to him), I really couldn't detach myself from him and we kinda remained friends with benefits though I could once in a while sense he still cared a lot about me but my emotionally frigid self just wouldn't get out of the way.
I hate breaking up probably because I hate the idea of not having someone to talk to or to lie next to me. Loneliness just ain't my thing and the only way to get over it is to create a huge physical distance btw I and my ex.