The breakup all those years ago had been particularly acrimonious. There were late-night loud arguments, lots of shouting and cursing, things were thrown about. And because we lived together, the only escape from the turmoil was to end the cohabitation. But after we separated we have remained close friends and would speak to each other on the phone almost everyday. Some of his mail is still being delivered at my address, so there has been the opportunity to meet and sometimes we would do things together, like watch a movie, go out for a meal and even go to church.
Anyway, last Monday evening I arrived home from work to find that a few of his letters had arrived. He had told me the day before that he was expecting something important in the post, so because it was raining heavily and he doesn't drive, I thought the best thing would be to take the letters to him. I called his number and he said he was at home, having just arrived from work himself. And so I drove through the rain to his house, which isn't that far away. Sitting in the car I called him again on arrival to say I was outside. I was reluctant to get out of the car in the pouring rain; these were his letters after all...
R came running through the rain to the car, opened the passenger door and jumped in. I thought it odd that he was carrying a rucksack, but I said nothing. Handing the letters over I asked how his day had been, trying to make conversation. But R took over the reins and said that he was lonely at home and that we should drive over to my place. I thought nothing of this, as on several occasions in the past he had come over and I'd cooked special meals for him, since I knew what he liked. So as I drove back to my flat with R beside me, my mind was in the refrigerator at home, trying to figure out how much of each item was available, working out what would be the best meal to cook..
R had only last week returned from a short trip to Germany where he had been visiting friends, and he was keen to show me the photos. So as soon as we arrived at home he got unto my computer and opened up the pictures, while I got busy in the kitchen. It seems like old times, I thought to myself as I put the omelet together. We ate and looked at the photos and talked and it was still raining; and R was looking more and more relaxed and comfortable on the sofa.. It was becoming more apparent to me that R had no intention of going back to his place that evening, and my suspicion was confirmed when he stretched and yawned and said that he had an early start the next morning and was going upstairs to bed...as if this was his house. Now it was clear to me the reason why he had brought his rucksack along.
I was watching something interesting on TV at the time and had no intention of going to bed so early, so I too just pretended that there was nothing unusual about him going upstairs to MY bed. Much later, it was time for me too to go upstairs to bed and when I arrived in the bedroom R was under the covers. Ok, I assumed he was asleep, so I tiptoed around as I got myself ready for bed, but I won't say I was surprised when after I climbed into the bed he moved himself towards me..surely you don't want me to tell you what happened next, do you? :)
At around 5am the alarm on R's phone went off, waking me too. He got out of bed and made himself ready for work, went to the kitchen downstairs and made himself something to eat. And shortly afterwards he came back to the bedroom where I was still lying in bed to tell me he was leaving....just as he had been doing all those years ago. It was as if nothing had changed. Brushing my teeth later in the bathroom, I noticed an extra toothbrush in the toothbrush holder, one which had not been there the morning before. So R had left his toothbrush behind too, suggesting to me what his intentions are. He did not say anything to me and has not said anything since, but I'm not sure if I want to go back to those days of quarrels and shouting. To be fair, since we separated, we haven't had one single fight and I'm wondering if it isn't better that we maintain the status-quo as it is now..